I’m pretty glad to say I’ve broken many of my “emotional bad habits” and am working on many others. Some I’m not working on yet because the bad habit still serves me.
Emotional bad habits are just that: Using my emotions in unhealthy, compulsive or even destructive ways. Like most bad habits, they are rooted in fear. Like any habit, emotional bad habits can be broken.
For instance: I used to be ANGRY. ALL. THE. TIME. The anger started when I was raped in 1999. After the assault, I felt angry, fearful, and all the other mixed up emotions.
I stuffed my trauma and didn’t deal with it, and told myself I was over it. Yes, I was harmed, but life goes on, right?
The anger I stuffed then started coming out later. I yelled at everyone. I drove too fast and drank a lot of alcohol. I’d get into a relationship and get mad about something and break it off. I would go to sleep angry, wake up angry, and stomp angrily through every day. I told myself everyone else was toxic and I was a victim of their bad behavior.
My body suffered from anger. My mind suffered. My spirit suffered. Anger surrounded me like dense red fog. And I didn’t even know that was what was happening, and thought I was doing the best I could. I didn’t know I was afraid.
In 2011 I sat down with a sexual assault advocate and started working on my trauma. I realized my anger had become an emotional bad habit, and I was stuck in the “fight” mode of trauma reaction. I was still afraid and anger kept me safe.
Sort of safe. My life was shit at the time, but at least I hadn’t been assaulted again.
I used a bunch of tools and skills to break the emotional bad habit of anger. Have you broken any bad emotional habits?
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