Healing From Sexual Violence
Every survivor heals in their own way, and it is not anyone’s place to judge someone’s healing process. And, sometimes, people on the outside who love us can see what we can’t see, and can ask the question, “Are you sure?” When I meet a survivor who acts out toxic …
Bad things happened to you. Perhaps bad things still happen to you. But was it “trauma” like we keep hearing all over the internet and from mental health professionals? After all, bad things happen to most people. The National Council for Behavioral Health says 70 percent of adults living in …
Here are some Dad Jokes for you about Chuck Norris: Chuck Norris doesn’t read. He stares at the book until it gives up its knowledge. Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear. Chuck Norris meditates for 10 minutes twice a day. That last …
My husband Jake writes, My wife asked me the other day about the concept of Self-Sabotage because I used to be a 5th degree black belt on the subject. Throughout my whole life, I had goals. I even took the correct steps to reach those goals. I knew that I …
Have to tell you, I’m pretty proud of my husband Jake Nordlund. He turned out to be a writer, and after 13 years of being together, I didn’t see it coming. You see, I’m a professional writer. I even have a Master of Fine Arts degree to prove it. I’ve …
Some people just love to give advice, to tell other people what to do because they’re soooo smart. I used to be one of those people before I learned a better way. When someone gives you advice, they’re really judging you. Maybe they are sincere and give you advice out …
While working with clients who are secondary survivors (people whose loved ones have experienced sexual violence) I noticed an interesting thing. Secondary survivors fall into patterns of obsessive thinking, usually around the continued safety of victims, after they find out something really bad happened. A husband I know whose wife …
Checking Out for Secondary Survivors is second to anger in how we attempt to deal with the sexual violence that has happened to our loved ones. This is part of our brain’s automatic responses to protect ourselves. In the Fight/Flight/Freeze reactions, checking out is a “Flight” reaction. Our brains, as …
One of the ways a secondary survivor deals with the trauma of a loved one is the “Macho Man” syndrome. You know the one… “I am going to go kill the sick bastard!” When my husband Jake received the call from his now ex-wife that his mother’s husband had molested …