All the survivors I work with are afraid. Every one. First we work on the trauma-based symptoms: nightmares, flashbacks, triggers.
Everyone heals at their own pace and in their own way. But I’ve noticed that as people gain control of the acute fears, they begin to explore older fears like risk-taking, trust and perfectionism.
At some point in my advocacy work, when the old fears resurface, I always ask: “What if you did it wrong?”
“It” could be anything. “Wrong” is always defined by the person sitting in front of me. Most survivors can find lots and lots of ways to make themselves wrong, not good enough. The fears are very real and the reactions are automatic.
Say, for instance, an interesting idea to help heal trauma came into your awareness. (This post is one such good idea.) It captures your attention for about six minutes and then your mind, consciously or unconsciously, takes out that list of reasons why the idea won’t work. All the ways you could do it wrong.
You move on and take no action, however small. No risk; no failure.
I’d like you to take just a few more minutes and sit with some new ideas. What if you could read a few more posts on You Are Beyond Brave and not do it wrong. What if you could join a safe Beyond Brave community and not do it wrong. What if you could start a conversation with us and not do it wrong.
That list of reasons why “it” won’t work is really a list of fears, keeping you from healing.
I ask you, with lots of love and a kind smile on my face, “What if you did it wrong?”