All creative people have a companion: The Critic. The Critic is that voice (sometimes quiet, often loud) that says we aren’t good enough.
Creative people create all the time, not just when we are actively writing, drawing, quilting, woodworking, etc. Our brains can’t sit still, and we grab onto ideas like a dog with a juicy bone.
The Critic speaks all the time. It uses loud, ugly words. Not perfect. Everything is terrible. Not enough, too much. Give up. Keep trying even though you always fail.
The Critic can take over your life, drowning out more positive messages, causing us to disbelieve anything but The Critic. Our creative brains are overpowered by The Critic’s voice.
We try many ways to shut The Critic up: yoga and mediation, drugs and alcohol, appreciation and gratitude, isolation and geographical cures.
Here’s what I did. This is a radical action, and should only be undertaken after you have formed a secure support network and stabilized your circumstances and emotions.
I stopped fighting The Critic. I stopped avoiding it. I turned around and started agreeing with it. I said, “Yes, you are right. I actually am not perfect. I am both not enough and too much. I have failed.”
And I didn’t add any “but…” in my replies to The Critic. The “buts” are disagreeing and that continues the fight. “I know I’m overweight, but I have beautiful hair.” “I am behind on the bills, but at least we eat well.”
And I added only one “and…” in my replies. “And I am OK.” That’s my version of radical acceptance. It’s radical OK-ness, and that’s OK. I’m not ready for the magical unicorn of unconditional self-love. I’m OK with being OK, for now.
The Critic still talks to me. Agreeing with its negativity is the fastest way for me to shut it up. “Yep, I heard you when you said that before. And I’m OK.”
It’s radical. Not for the faint of heart. Possibly harmful if you aren’t stable. And this radical OK-ness worked for me.
Are you ready to start quieting The Critic?
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