Healing From Sexual Violence
What does guilt feel like in the body? Guilt is a reaction to something we have done, an action we have taken. We did something harmful or bad. So we pull back as if we just touched a hot stove, or run away from situations and relationships so we don’t …
What does shame feel like in the body? It might feel like stooped shoulders, or hanging your head until your neck is permanently crooked. It might feel like all your muscles are weak, as if the very air is too heavy and it’s all your fault, anyway. When we carry …
Bad things happened to you. Perhaps bad things still happen to you. But was it “trauma” like we keep hearing all over the internet and from mental health professionals? After all, bad things happen to most people. The National Council for Behavioral Health says 70 percent of adults living in …
If we choose to work on forgiving the people who harm us, many survivors find themselves trying to understand why the perpetrator did what they did. So we go through mental gymnastics trying to understand, explain, rationalize the irrational actions of another person. First we blame ourselves: We …
Survivors often have a love/hate relationship with their bodies, and may turn their focus toward a random body part (like feet or a mole) or may focus on the body parts that were involved in the abuse (like internal organs or lips). This hatred of the body is triggered by …
Scientists are always trying to understand the human body, and recently researchers studying stress hormones have linked one to chronic trauma. Long after the traumatic event, they measured it at significantly elevated levels in the study group. This hormone is known to regulate appetite and excess weight. Acyl-ghrelin hormone, abbreviated …
Why are some people angry and destructive right now, and some people stubbornly happy and actually thriving? We are all going through the same social unrest, political chaos, and global pandemic, even if our individual circumstances are different from each other. I believe our responses to this traumatic time are …
I had the distinct honor of participating in a Nibi Walk around Pokegama Lake, my home lake here in northern Minnesota, this past weekend. What is a Nibi Walk? It’s an indigenous-led and woman-led ceremony to honor all water everywhere on earth, from the water inside our bodies to the …
Trauma survivors can uniquely identify with the pain of the world. We have felt helpless and victimized, so when we see pain in the media or in our everyday lives, we instantly recognize the physical sensations and spiritual hopelessness others are experiencing. We want to rescue others from that darkness. …
Sexual violence survivors worry a lot. We transfer the worry others should have felt about what we were experiencing into worry about our current loved ones, long after our own bad experience is over. We think this is helpful to others and to ourselves, but it can be unhealthy if …