I am a sexual assault advocate, and I’ve learned an interesting thing from my work with clients in crisis. Trauma survivors memorize what happened to them. Sometimes these memories are overwhelming and detailed. Sometimes people don’t remember the details and struggle for years to fill in the blanks. They are all memorizing the trauma.
Each time we retell our stories we are memorizing them again. Secondary survivors memorize their loved ones’ stories and retell and retell something bad that happened to someone else, picking up secondary trauma.
These memories may come out as flashbacks and nightmares. They may come out as reactions or overreactions. Survivors don’t know when they’re safe, can’t ever feel safe. Their brains have memorized trauma and trauma replays over and over, even when the bad experiences happened a long time ago.
I teach people to memorize new stories. This work doesn’t transform trauma overnight. It’s steady practice with small changes that accumulate into new thoughts and feelings. It’s best to do this work in the company of others doing the same work, walking along with people who have some wisdom about what “the other side” of trauma can be.
I’ve memorized some new stories instead of living in trauma. Would you like to hear them? I’d like to hear your stories!
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