I’m thinking about the complex thoughts and emotions that go into making promises. There’s the aspect of “yes and no” and boundaries. There’s commitment and responsibility. Self-doubt and resentment. Taking care of other people and co-dependence. Whew! When you slow down and think about it, making promises is a big topic!
When I commit to doing something, I’ve made a promise. Although I practice not saying an automatic yes when somebody asks something of me, I still do it sometimes (and then get resentful later).
When I write down those commitments, on my calendar, for instance, I’ve made a super-promise. I feel compelled to do what’s written down. This quirk in my personality helps me stay motivated and gives me a sense of accomplishment. It also, sometimes, makes me mad. I HAVE to do it!
Promises can also be those vague thoughts like, “I’ll go visit that friend next summer.” “I’ll wash the dishes tomorrow.” “When I grow up, I want to be a singer.”
And I can work myself up into a big self-pity and self-regret party when I don’t fulfill those promises, too.
Are you a person who makes lots of promises and then feels bad when you inevitably fall short? (Sometimes known as Super Mom/Dad.) Do you take your commitments so seriously that you sometimes force other people to accept a ton of rules or help you fulfill your promises? (Also known as Controlling.)
Let us know in the comments. It’s good to hear from you!
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