Big decisions can paralyze survivors. The big ones paralyze most people. But it’s the little decisions we make all day long, every day, that can add up to mental and spiritual paralysis and cause us to lose our place in the world.
Like what to have for supper, for instance. We have to eat every day, and often have loved ones to feed, too. We hear the message that meals should be healthy. That mealtime is fun family time. That good food cooked with love nourishes body, mind and soul.
It doesn’t matter if we have an unhealthy relationship with food, like an eating disorder. It doesn’t matter if we are on a special diet, or have little money for food, or if we just really don’t feel like cooking. We have to eat, every day. Loved ones have to eat, every day. And food is supposed to be one of the joys of life, right?
At best, creating meals can be a chore. At worst, creating meals can be obsession and torture. We sometimes give up and eat cereal. We sometimes give up and don’t eat at all. We become paralyzed—we freeze—and it’s easier to not fight.
Freezing is a stuck trauma reaction. The trauma keeps playing out long after the bad thing that happened is over. The smaller, every day decisions become low-level trauma that won’t go away.
Question for the Day: What is my earliest memory about food and eating?